bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
