Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
