One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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