i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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