We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
