how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
