Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
