I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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