Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
