i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
