My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
