im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
