Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
