The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We are all done wearing pants today
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
