Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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