she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
