is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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