I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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