He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
