weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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