shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
