Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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