ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
