Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Randomize
