every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
