I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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