I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
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