yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
