What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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