well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
