shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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