okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
