ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Found your dick twin last night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
