I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
