there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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