He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Operation Purity has been aborted
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
