She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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