so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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