he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
