Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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