Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.

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(207): View more from Maine

Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS

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(314): View more from Missouri

just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"

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(217): View more from Illinois

You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks

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(660): View more from Missouri

I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!

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(281): View more from Texas

Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.

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