I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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