I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
