this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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