And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
