I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
