love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
