I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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