I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
