He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
