Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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